Road Trippin'
by Victoria1127
Summary: Finn, Rachel, Quinn, Puck, Santana, and Brittany road trip to the big apple for a few weeks in the summer.
1. Preparation

For Elainea

Finn had done a lot of stupid things in his time, and he was almost sure this was going to go down in history as the stupidest.

He and Rachel were sitting in his room—of course, being chaperoned by Kurt—when Finn apparently had an idea that was probably a really bad idea. "I'm going to miss you so much all summer!"

"Rachel…neither one of us is going anywhere. You can visit whenever you want."

Kurt mumbled an exasperated _Oh Godddd _from his perch in the corner of the room_. _"That's a great idea, Finn!" Rachel exclaimed.

"Visiting? Well, I guess…"

"No, we should go on a road trip together!"

"I…don't remember saying that…"

"Where should we go? New York! Oh, Finn! That would be so much fun!"

Finn's mind was reeling. "Mom and Burt are never gonna go for this."

"Not with that attitude!" Kurt got up and went to the laptop on his bed.

"What?" Finn now looked from Kurt to Rachel exasperatedly.

"Kurt…you know you're not invited, right? I mean, you'd feel like such a terrible third wheel…"

"Rachel…that was really mean."

"Shut up, both of you." Kurt's hands flew across the keyboard. "You two gone means I have my room to myself all summer to have Mercedes and Sam over and not have to deal with Rainbow Brite over there…" he gestured to Rachel briefly before continuing to type.

Rachel came over to Kurt's bed and curled up next to him. "Oh…that's a good idea, yeah…do you think it'd be okay?"

"Please, I know my dad."

"Well, of course…why didn't I think of this."

"Okay, the two of them are confirmed for sure."

"How are we getting there?"

"Um…excuse me?" Finn's voice sounded tiny from the other side of the room. He tried hard not to think about the fact that he was basically dating the female version of Kurt. "It would be really cool if someone could fill me in here."

Kurt's and Rachel's heads snapped up in unison to look at Finn. "Fill him in, I'm working here." Kurt ordered.

"Baby," Rachel cooed as she went over to sit on Finn's lap. "Kurt is arranging chaperones for us."

"Chaperones?"

"Yeah, like people to make your parents sure we won't be having sex or anything."

"I know what chaperones are…who?"

"Well, first he asked Quinn and Puck—"

"Oh, great idea. The pregnant girl and the one who knocked her up. That's like asking Kurt and Mercedes to make sure nobody steals shoes from Macy's. Mom and Burt will never go for that."

"I know, which is why Quinn suggested that Britt and Santana also come along."

"And they will help how? They're sluts!"

"Kurt knows what he's doing, baby."

Finn grunted. He was not exactly excited about going on a road trip with his girlfriend, ex girlfriend, best friend who knocked up his ex girlfriend, the girl he lost his virginity to, and a girl he drunkenly made out with once at a party.

"Time to ask Dad."

"Why your dad and not Carole?"

"Carole won't care. It's dad's car you'll have to take."

"Good call."

After hours of negotiation and more planning, Finn found himself standing outside, the keys to Burt's Escalade in his hands as Puck loaded up the millions of suitcases into the car for the girls.

"You don't do anything stupid, huh?"

"Yes sir, Burt."

Carole nudged Burt a little. "Oh, yeah." He reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet. After some digging, he produced a credit card.

"Oh, you don't have to—"

"Finn, it's yours. We got plenty of money here, you know that. Just don't go crazy…try and keep the charges under $100,000, alright?"

"Burt—"

"Shut your trap, kid. You're my stepson, you're family." Finn hugged Burt tightly. "Have fun."

"Okay. We'll be back in two weeks."

Burt nodded. "Puckerman!"

Puck came around the car. "Do I get a credit card too?"

Burt was not amused. "Help Finn keep these ladies safe. If anything happens to any of them on your watch, you'll have more trouble than you can handle when you get back."

"Yes, sir." Puck nodded.

With that, they all loaded into the car. Finn driving, Rachel in the front seat, Brittany and Santana in the captain's chairs in the middle, and Puck and Quinn on the bench seat in the back.

"Sing along time!" Rachel exclaimed. "I have made multiple playlists on my iPod for us to sing on the way!"

"I don't see this working out!" Quinn called, frustrated from the back as Wiggles music filled the car.

"THIS IS MY FAVORITE SHOW YOU GUYS." Brittany yelled, bouncing and clapping in her seat. She and Rachel exchanged a high-five.

This was going to be a long ride.


	2. Secrets and Suggestions

**A/N: **Sorry it's taken so long to update! I have a lot of requests to work on and it kind of got lost in the jumble. Enjoy chapter 2!

About halfway through the second Wiggles CD, Quinn snapped.

"WE ARE NOT FOUR YEAR OLDS! I REFUSE TO LISTEN TO THIS ANYMORE!" Quinn lunged forward from the very back and snatched the CD out of the player, cracking the CD.

"Quinn!" Rachel whined. "I paid like $15 for that at the concert!"

Brittany continued to sing, "Hot Potato Hot Potato! Hot Potato Hot Potato!"

"Brittany, be quiet." Santana put a finger to her lips to shush her.

"I had a sex dream about the Wiggles once…except there was only one of them, and he was a girl."

Puck leaned forward and put his chin in his hands. "Tell me more!"

"Well, she told me to touch her hot potatoes, and—"

"O-KAY!" Finn yelled, plugging his iPod into the stereo and pressing shuffle.

"_Hi, Barbie!"_

"_Hi Ken!"_

"_Wanna go for a ride?"_

"_Sure Ken!"_

"_Jump in!"_

_I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world…_

Everyone was silently staring at Finn. "…It's a good song!" Finn stammered before changing it.

Four hours later, they were about to kill each other.

Brittany and Santana had taken to making out in the backseat. "YOU GUYS. YOU GUYS. STOP IT. I AM NOT OKAY WITH THIS!" Quinn was screaming, while Puck was going crazy as well.

"STOP YELLING AT THEM! I LIKE IT AND YOUR VOICE IS DRIVING ME NUTS!"

"Noah Puckerman, if you don't shut your mouth right now your NUTS are going to be in a lot of danger!"

"I CAN'T DRIVE WITH ALL THIS YELLING!" Finn cried from the front seat.

"Well, it's nearly night time…why don't we find a hotel?" Rachel supplied helpfully.

"Sounds good…" Finn pulled into a Motel 7 and parked.

"See?" Puck gestured to the heated cheerleaders. "All you had to do was stop the car and THEY stop. That's all you had to do."

"Okay," Finn said, getting out of the car. I think what we need to do is get a room for the girls and a room for me and Puck. Sound good?"

The girls nodded, while Puck scowled. "What's the point of having a crazy road trip if we can't…you know…get a little crazy…" Puck grabbed Quinn around the waist and pulled her close.

"Um, the last time you two did that, you ended up with an infant who is now my sister." Rachel reminded Puck.

"I gotta tell you…it's kind of weird that I've made out with my daughter's sister…"

"When you put it like that, yes." Rachel sighed.

"Well, if we wanna get weird…" Finn replied, "we oughta go with…Rachel's my girlfriend, Puck is my best friend who knocked up my ex-girlfriend and first love, Quinn, whose best friends are Brittany, who was the first girl I ever made out with, and Santana, who I lost my virginity to."

Silence.

"How about those rooms, huh?" Santana grabbed Finn's credit card out of his hand and went inside.

…

"I can't believe all the girls are in the other room and you don't care at all."

"Rachel and I aren't sexually active, so it doesn't matter to me."

"Ughh." Puck grunted, getting off of his bed and laying on his back next to Finn. "Rachel has you SO whipped. I'm bored as hell; I want to have fun." He eyed the phone in Finn's hand, Finn's thumbs working quickly on the keyboard. "Who are you texting?"

Finn shut the phone. "Nobody."

Puck snatched the phone out of his hands. "Kurt? You're texting KURT?"

"He's my brother!" Finn said defensively. "We're just talking."

"Oh, how cute. Kurt asks, 'Having fun?' Finn says, 'Oh yeah. Sorry you're not here, frowny face.' Kurt starts to masturbate…"

"It's not like that! God, you're disgusting!"

"You think gays are disgusting? I bet that breaks your boyfriend's heart."

"I don't think gays are disgusting! And Kurt isn't my boyfriend…what is your problem, dude?"

Puck rolled over onto his stomach, his body touching Finn's now. "I don't have a problem! You just have a problem with gay people."

Finn's brow furrowed. "No, I don't…you're confusing me! First you call me gay, and then you accuse me of hating gays…make up your mind!"

Puck seemed to consider this. "Okay." And with that, he planted a chaste kiss on Finn's lips.

That sat there in silence for a moment. Finn finally said, "Um. So you're gay?"

"Bisexual. Quinn knows."

"I see. Okay…why'd you kiss me?"

"I like to be shocking."

"Well, congrats…you are…"

More silence.

"Wanna get a pizza?"

"Yeah, I'll get my coat."

…

Santana and Brittany sat cross-legged on one bed, playing cards and giggling. Quinn was sitting at the desk, filing her nails and sighing every-so-often. The silence in the room was driving Rachel crazy. A car door slammed outside.

"Did you hear that?" Rachel scrambled off of her bed and looked out the door. "The boys are leaving!"

Quinn sighed exaggeratedly. "Puck texted me. They went to get pizza. They're bringing us back one."

"Oh." Rachel slumped back onto her bed. "Can we talk or something? I can't handle all the quiet."

"Alright." Quinn went and sat next to Rachel on her bed. "How are things going with you and Finn?"

"Um." Rachel's face turned red. "Good. Isn't it awkward for you to talk about, since he's your ex?"

"Puck's your ex."

"And mine." Santana looked up briefly.

"If we acknowledged everything truly awkward between us as awkward, we wouldn't be able to be in the same room with each other." Quinn grinned. "So…have you two…?"

"No!" Rachel was torn between regretting her request to talk and being grateful that Quinn was being nice to her. "We're waiting for the right time."

The three girls laughed uproariously.

"What? I think it's sweet!"

"Honey…" Santana dropped her cards and turned to face Rachel. Brittany did the same. "every girl starts out like that…'Oh, my first time is gonna be special!' But then it feels like the right time, and you go for it, and you ends up with the same thing, no matter who you're with—it's like, _that's_ _it_?"

"We all know how my first time went…" Quinn grinned.

"I lost the big V to a grasshopper when I was 4."

Everyone looked at Brittany. "What?" Santana asked.

"My NOSE virginity."

"Ah…oh yeah…" Santana shrugged and rolled her eyes.

"So…you're saying…?"

"We're saying, there's no such thing as the right time. It just happens." Quinn replied.

"And he's already done it once, so he's gonna wanna do it again. Use it or lose it." Santana said, gesturing to her crotch.

"Why are you guys being so nice to me?"

Brittany smiled and grabbed Rachel's hand. "'Cause you like the Wiggles."

"Because if I'm mean to you, Quinn will hit me."

"Because," Quinn smiled and wrapped a friendly arm around Rachel's waist. "you're not nearly as bad as everyone thinks you are."


End file.
